The creative juices are beginning to flow again. Ah, and it feels so good. I was a bit worried for awhile that I had lost all interest in creating!! Alarming, since it is such a part of who I am. But I find that when surrounded by creativity, it brings forth that which is within. Thus, when not, it staggers and fades.
I've been pulling out projects lately, some purchased quite awhile ago, and am cracking on with them. Some are not successful. Yesterday I threw out a sewing pattern I've done twice with no luck. I can say to myself (finally) it's not me, it's the pattern. Yes, I modified it to fit me, but the basic shape does not suit me. So why get frustrated trying to fit a round peg into a square hole? Learn what suits you!!!
I remember, years ago, out of necessity sewing and knitting things for the boys. I loved the adorable French styled baby outfits in the windows and thinking " I will teach myself to knit so my second son can have these". And I did. 23 years on, my knitting is still sub par, but I found I loved the journey of starting, the zen of the clicking of the needles and at last, the finished product. I can still see the faces of children coming up to me while I knit in public, asking "whatcha doin?" Wide eyed they started on as I moved the yarn from one needle to the other. Facing to answer them (cause I can look away while working the yarn), I would see the same wide eyed unexpressed question on the face of the parent. After chuckling to myself, I explained. Knitting has since undergone a resurgence of popularity and I no longer get this question. Now, it seems it is other knitters coming forward and asking what I'm creating and who is it for.
At last I am over the self stigma of shame for not being able to afford something. Now I create because I love/need to. It's a very nice place.
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